What My Kids Have Taught Me: That No book ever could

What My Boys Truly Taught Me

I often say my boys changed my life. But if I’m being honest, they didn’t just change it they gave it direction. I started studying when I got married, and shortly after, we started our IVF journey. We were fortunate to be successful the first time, which meant I continued to study right through my pregnancy and into their early/toddler years. 

I remember sitting my RO5 exam while dealing with morning sickness, thinking what am I doing but feeling like I had a sense of urgency to get qualified. Looking back, I’m still not entirely sure whether that was determination or mild insanity. Probably a bit of both. But something shifted during that time.

For the first time, my career stopped being just about professional progression. It became about building stability, independence, and creating a future I had real control over. And to be truthful, I had no strong desire to progress until I knew I was starting a family. That overwhelming realisation that it’s not just about me. 

• They gave me focus

• They gave me purpose

• They gave me a very clear reason to keep pushing forward

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A Little Perspective

Like many families, our path to having children involved IVF. It was emotional, uncertain, and at times overwhelming, as anyone who has experienced it will understand. But I need to say this: We were incredibly fortunate.

Our journey, while stressful, was nowhere near as long or as difficult as the struggles many people face. We were lucky enough to have success on our first attempt, and I never, ever take that for granted. Because IVF teaches you something very quickly:

• Nothing is guaranteed

• Timelines mean very little

• Hope becomes both fragile and incredibly powerful at the same time

• My boys are my miracles
  

And that experience leaves you with a deep sense of perspective not just about parenthood, but about life in general.

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When Life Immediately Gets Real

One week after they were born, it was the boys and me for two weeks whilst their dad went back to work in Norway. This was our family pattern, and it was time to get used to it. Exhausted, overwhelmed and trying to work out how two tiny humans could generate so much washing. There is absolutely nothing like newborn twins to test your resilience, organisational skills, and ability to function on very little sleep. But strangely, it was also one of the most defining periods of my life. I do get told I conveniently forget how difficult it was, but it taught me lessons no exam, qualification, or career milestone ever could.

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Resilience Isn’t Dramatic, It’s Daily

Resilience rarely looks the way we imagine it.It isn’t always bold or heroic. More often, it’s quiet.

It looks like:

• Showing up when you’re tired

• Continuing when things feel uncertain

• Figuring things out as you go
  

There were no perfect conditions. No neat balance, no “ideal time”, just adaptation and persistence. Life rarely provides perfect timing, something I now see mirrored constantly in financial planning conversations.

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You’re Capable of More Than You Think

Parenthood has a remarkable way of stretching you.

• Emotionally

• Mentally

• Financially

• Practically

It forces you to develop strengths you didn’t even realise you possessed. That lesson has stayed with me far beyond parenting, because I see the same pattern in my clients all the time. People consistently underestimate themselves not because they lack ability, but because they underestimate their capacity to adapt, recover, and grow.

Life changes. Circumstances shift. The unexpected happens. And yet, human beings are remarkably resilient. When they have clarity, purpose, and the right support, they navigate complexity far better than they ever imagined possible.

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Apparently, I Like a Challenge

For those who know me personally, you’ll know that studying whilst pregnant and then continuing to study with newborn twins is very much the sort of challenge I tend to embrace. Looking back, it probably explains quite a lot about me. I’ve always had a slightly questionable relationship with “taking things easy.”

More recently, that same tendency showed up in the form of a water fast, combined with finally tackling what I used to call “social smoking” which, if we’re being honest, had quietly upgraded itself into a far more regular habit than I liked to admit. Apparently, I like a challenge, or perhaps more accurately…I seem wired to push myself into situations that require discipline, resilience, and just a tiny bit of stubbornness.

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The Unexpected Lesson

But here’s the interesting part. Parenthood didn’t create that mindset, It sharpened it.

Because children have a way of making you very aware of the example you’re setting not through grand gestures, but through everyday behaviour.

• How you handle pressure
  
• How you respond to setbacks
  
• How you talk about effort, failure, and persistence
  

They’re always watching, even when you think they’re not listening, especially when you think they’re not listening. Somewhere along the way, I realised something slightly ironic. While I like to believe I’m teaching my boys about resilience, mindset, and perseverance, they’ve actually been teaching me those very same lessons all along, just in a quieter, less structured, but no less powerful way.

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The Lesson Beneath It All

My boys didn’t just teach me about patience, love, or sleep deprivation. They taught me that strength often shows up when you have no choice but to find it, and that uncertainty often sits right beside growth. And perhaps most importantly, they showed me that the life you want is rarely built in perfect conditions,  it’s built in real ones: messy, unpredictable, beautifully imperfect real ones.

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And Now… The Next Chapter

My boys will be 11 this summer, which feels slightly surreal to say out loud. Somewhere between the early years of sleep deprivation and school runs, time appears to have accelerated without consulting me. And I am sad they are growing up so fast I now find myself entering a whole new phase of parenting.

• The stage of back chat
  
• The stage of attitude
  
• The stage of confident “know-it-all” energy
  
• And, of course, the stage of truly impressive stubbornness
  

(They have absolutely no idea where they get that from.) So, as the hormones begin to make their grand entrance…

Wish me luck, because while I may enjoy a challenge…I suspect this next one might be my most advanced level yet.

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